I'm good, I'm gone

its a mystery to me how some people can honestly live. with all these negative things happening around them.
crying about a lost love
bitching about moral standards
yelling about how someone drives

i don't want to be apart of anything anymore

would i much rather be alone?
Lost in my own thoughts and reasoning.
isolated from the bullshit.
being selfish and thinking of only what i want.
bringing good vibes and positive karma, by ignoring everyone around me and treating people how i want to be treated.

Why cant you all just leave me alone?

The more i seem to try and fix my hatred for the human race, the more they prove how shitty they are.
I want relationships and connections.
But how can that happen when I'm surrounded by complete fucking morons?


Sure my hearts broken and i have an unusually short temper, but why must you be so stupid?

at one in the morning am i sitting here thinking of how much i hate people and how much i want to be alone. thinking of how i can change to make them happy? no it should be how to make them change. why are there so few that understand what i do. why cant let go to my grudges and be a bimbo like everyone else

would i really be happier if i were to be apart of what i deeply hate.... i doubt it
I want to have an impact on the soul and figure out how to make things easier and better to live in

I'm surrounded by foul toxic environments that seem to be around every corner.

why are you all such terrible souls? why do you have to live like mongrels

the fine line between genius and insanity

Its been a few days of blankness. Already.
I felt inclined to try again.

It seems another phase in my life is over.
People I used to know slowly fade away into the ignorance and stupidity I don't want to be apart of
Why can't people just be smarter or open to new information?
Dont they understand that knowledge truly is power? The more you have the better your soul becomes.
The American society cares nothing about the future's intelligence and accomplishments.
People focus on fucking celebrities and pointless drama.

Why are we so obsessed with drama?


From High School to the media. Its always around me. I dont care an ounce about any of it. Is that why I feel so alone in my mindset? 
I suppose I am an old soul among children. Feeling like everyone around me is so blatantly stupid for not feeling like i feel. Not seeing what i see. Not understanding the truth behind every motive and comment.
I HATE IT ALL


I know there are those that see how disgusting Americans are. With their overweight, selfish, greedy, ignorant, and STUPID ways of life. I hate this place, but i want to change it at the same time. I want to meet theses people I know exist. I have met a few. The "misfits" but they truly are intelligent. WHY CANT YOU BE THAT WAY? I know its an option
Why do you chose to be stupid and worthless?


They call me crazy? They ask why I'm the bitch? They wonder why I don't want to be associated with them? 
Doesn't anyone know how stupid they look with designer shoes and an addiction to the media, letting it control them
Americans are zombies to this thing we call media, a life sucking piece of shit all revolving around wealth and greed of men.


RELIGION and MEDIA
they're only ways to control uneducated minds.
Is that what everyone is-
A FUCKING STUPID ASSHOLE?


I do wonder at times if I am crazy, insane from the anger and hatred i feel for the human race....
Why must you be so fucking stupid?

Sensible heart

so I skipped a day so here's a long rant to make up for it

There's a lot of things that have made me the way I am, isn't that true of every human that has lived?

There are a lot of things a person can't help but do or feel
There's things only you can decide. Why do we have to much trouble figuring out whAt to do.
The amount of independence a person needs is infinite
With a mindset so different from the crowd I'm unsure if I benefit from it.
Feeling somewhat alone in emotion and thought is actually calming.
There's a lot I think about and so muh to observe. And yet I'm still amazed by the amount o knowledge I can still learn.
"knowledge is power"
isn't that idea what we should base our society values on?
An observation of an ignorant community around me makes that rebellious streak butt it's vibrant head.
Shouldn't your undertanding impact your emotion?
Shouldn't your intelligence levels outweigh your dumb decisions?

There's so many things emotion fucks up, but that intelligence we take for granted could do more than fix our problems.
I suppose there is a fine line between following your heart and being sensible.

My sensible heart will always make mistakes

Gonna try and make it an everyday thing

Be it this blog or yoga and running.

I guess we'll see.

Its funny how we try to make amends with ourselves, to even out things we've said or done. Like paying for people when you owe them money (for something you probably shouldnt have) via a debit card.

Or to make sure you say something nice after you've been a complete asshole.

There's always small insignificant things like this happening to us.

This probably isn't something you'll read is it?

I guess that's the point of this thing. But maybe its more.

Maybe one day I'll be proven wrong, but for now I guess I'll stick with what I observe.

We all want to convince ourselves we'll be heard, but really we want connections.

Being able to speak about the universe or tacos or science... Isn't that what we want.

Speak of eveything in our heads. It's what we need, isnt it?

I guess thats up to me, isn't it.

For the first time in

who knows how long will i be writing in something like this. I deleted my myspace and along with it all the old thoughts and values of old blogs. Its funny how you can think back to only a couple years ago and see how different you were or how much you have changed in a matter of time.

This isn't something we all take lightly. Is it...?

But now what am I suppose to rant and rave about? Dark things come to light eventually I suppose and thats what highschool mostly is. Dark stupidity.