Cosmic Love

There are many things I will never understand, it pains me to say it, but I refuse to lie.. Death and stupidity among these things are always gnawing at my temper. But one thing in particular eats away at my soul constantly. Love.

Or perhaps the idea of it. 

Living in a vast world of stupid bimbos and ignorant douche bags along with failing marriages that lead to divorce takes a toll on how I react to any type of affection. The bitterness and hatred I feel for love butts it's ugly head whenever anyone gets too close or when I become too vulnerable and let someone in..

During high school- Is it really necessary to become obsessed and infatuated with someone you think you know, or giving your everything to a person you feel ONE stupid connection to? For guys to only want the sluts, or the fake girls with no brain?  For girls to settle for what they think is the best they can do or what they feel will make them look good, like ASSHOLES. Or let guys walk all over them because that's what society thinks is right? 

In adult lives- Do you have to stay with a spouse you feel nothing for because of: kids, money, memories, or social rank. Can't you see the harm you're causing to a child's view of so-called love? Or the repetitive heartache you bring upon yourselves? 

Hasn't anyone noticed the amount of failing relationships there are because most of you follow these stupid social codes and morals that mean nothing to your individual soul? You're killing yourselves slowly.

Is there no true romance left? No chivalry? No first dates and butterflies? Maybe we need to strive for fairy-tale endings, because nothing else is making us happy. If we settle for our OWN IDEAL person who will benefit our souls, there would be a lot less heartbreak and tons less restraining orders. 

I know everyone has their ideal 'soul mate', but is it really your idea? From what I can see most of us base our 'love' on the looks from the stupid fucking tabloids and celebrities. Its not REAL. Where are the connections?

Isn't that what love is? Feeling something you've never felt before with one person? Being able to talk for hours or enjoying silence together? Not trying to outdo each other or prove who has the upper hand in the relationship, or should I say 'wear the pants'.

Shouldn't you be able to feel comfortable rather than self-concious when your naked in front of them? Shouldn't you be able to speak anything that's on your mind without being afraid you'll be judged and thrown aside because it's not what your 'partner' thinks? 

I know there are relationships out there based on real love, but how can we find them when we can't stop to understand who we really are and what we truly want. To figure out who we really need, rather than who we think we need. 

I'll can't help but feel alone in a world where we obsess over being together....